There is an expensive lesson that life offers, and I wish I’d had the currency to afford it sooner. It’s this: it is a profound waste of your finite time, energy, and spirit to court the approval of people who only value your utility. For most of my life, I have existed on the periphery.…
Bombs, Bibles, and My Closet [Not that Closet]
So, the Middle East is getting spicy again, huh? World War 3 anyone? I mean seriously, can we please knock it off with the unprecedented times? I'd be willing to bet we're all some level of anxious about the Israel/Iran/US/Whoever-decides-to-start-lobbing-bombs war that's happening right now. For some of us who grew up in evangelical Christianity…
And the Preacher Said, “Amen.”
Every year, come late May, I get this… twitch. It’s an undeniable, deep-seated urge to purge. Suddenly, my closets look like they’re staging an intervention, the basement is giving me side-eye, and I’m eyeing that dusty box of “sentimental” (read: questionable) belongings with the cold calculation of a seasoned decluttering ninja. For years, I just…
The Incredible Un-Forever
Why "the end" isn't a dirty word...
And Hope Rose Like the Dawn….
CONTENT WARNING: RAPE, ABORTION I’m lying on a bed at a small, dingy clinic on the outskirts of town. I can’t open my eyes. I'm screaming in my head, but I don't make a sound. My hands are clenched around my forehead, squeezing until I’m white-knuckled and my head is pounding. I do not want…
Roses and Sunflowers
A few months ago, there was a fire in the restaurant next door to my apartment. That was the day I learned that, at the threat of my cat being in a burning building, this fat girl can, and will, run. I also learned what my most prized possession is. They say that whatever you…
Raise a Glass to Freedom
I open my eyes The room is still dark. My toes are cold. Actually, all of me is cold. I pile on another blanket and keep shivering. This is a cold that can’t be fixed with blankets. It’s fear-cold. I can’t go back to sleep. Today’s the day I lose everything. 3:30 AM, Saturday, March…
Clearing the Slate?
They say that your skin – your epidermis – completely regenerates itself every 27 or so days, so technically, I'm a different person than I was a month ago at this time. I’ve always found that little tidbit fascinating, and frankly, kinda gross and creepy, in a weirdly cool way. But under my new-every-27 or…
Losing Christmas, Finding Peace
What happens when you realize that Christmas just might not be “your” holiday anymore? This question has been tumbling around in my head since mid-November, and I’ve begun to write about it half a dozen times, only to delete everything and close the computer in frustration. It isn’t often that I find myself unable to…
Remembering
I’m sitting here remembering something. It smells like 2006 in my office. New Jersey. Someone is wearing LoveSpell. That’s it. That’s what smells like 2006 New Jersey. I’m remembering… Remembering….. It’s amazing to me. One minute, I’m sitting at my desk, writing an email, and the next minute, I’m back in my basement office in…
VoyagersHeart 