They say that your skin – your epidermis – completely regenerates itself every 27 or so days, so technically, I’m a different person than I was a month ago at this time.

I’ve always found that little tidbit fascinating, and frankly, kinda gross and creepy, in a weirdly cool way.

But under my new-every-27 or so days skin is…me.

My scars, my birthmark, my tattoo, anything deeper than the very superficial layer of me…..it all remains – right down to my thoughts, my feelings, my memories….my skin may be brand spanking new, but I am still the same old Christin, with the same likes, dislikes, quirks, and neuroses as before.

Kinda comforting.

Kinda frustrating.

It can be both.

As much as we talk about turning over a new leaf every January, I have to wonder – can we ever *really* start from scratch, or will the same old person always be in there?

Now, I don’t make resolutions for the new year. I find them silly and I don’t like to set myself up for failure, so this isn’t a major ‘life reboot’ season for me, but, I’ve learned the hard way that sometimes, circumstances can force you to a place where you have to start over, whether you want to or not.

And.

it.

Is.

Terrifying.

But there’s also something beautiful about starting over — something strangely liberating about beginning again.

But again, I have to ask, can you ever really wipe the slate?

Does starting over really mean going back to zero?

When I found myself standing on the outside of my old life, with $11 in my pocket, a few suitcases in hand, and nothing else, I was terrified. It felt like I was starting at zero. Like everything had been stripped away. But I came to realize that I still had ME – with all my past experiences, failures, and successes. They’d all taught me something. More than I even realized at the time.

And And I realized that I wasn’t *really*starting over.

I was just… beginning again.

I can’t wipe my slate slate clean on January 1 and start over, because I’ve realized that my life isn’t a slate at all – it’s more of a…. book.  What has happened in my life – it’s happened.

I can’t erase that.

It’s in the story.

It can’t be taken back.

It’s part of me.

All those memories, all those experiences, all those trials – they have been part of the story — a story that’s been in the process of being written since my birth, and they have to come with me.

Once I realized that, January, or any big moment of change, really, feels less like starting from scratch, and more like….a new chapter.

A chance to keep writing.

To keep going.

So the question I ask myself every new year’s eve isn’t “how can I start over this next year? What can I change?”

It’s “what do I want this next chapter to look like – building on or learning from what’s already been written”?

We might not have a clean slate for this year, but we certainly have some blank pages.

And I don’t know about you, but I’m excited for this chapter.